Today is one of our big days. We meet with my wife’s surgeon today to discuss the options that she has facing her next.
So many people use that expression, whether they have just had a big day or hope to have a big day sometime in the future. It could mean many things to different people, and it usually has a positive connotation. We spent the weekend and the beginning few days of this week just dealing with the news that we received just last Friday about the cancer that has invaded my wife’s body. We had many ways of dealing with it of course, as most people do, and one of the main stages that we dealt with it at first was with Googlemania, at least I will admit that I did. As a matter of fact, we both had our personal iPads out over the weekend and exploring as much information as we possibly could take in to absorb whatever we could about this horrible disease that comes in so many forms. A word of caution to both of us though, Google brings up many good pieces of information to view, but I found out awfully fast that you really need to look at the URL’s and pick those websites that will provide you with good and meaningful knowledge as you try and understand what is happening. There is also a lot of junk in Google as well, and it is best to try and avoid that. We have spent the last few days reading what we could get our hands on, telling friends and family about this latest event is in our particular lives, going for walks, and doing some talking with each other about what has been, what is now, and what will be. We can deal with the “what has been” and the “what is now” fairly effectively, but it is the “what will be” that we know will be our biggest challenge. We will face that together and deal with it as it comes, together.
When people are dealing with any big event in their lives, they go through stages as they deal with and process the news. Many cancer patients receive their diagnosis and go through the 5 stages of grief as first noted and described in detail by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book on Death and Dying (1969). The stages she describes when people are dealing with tragedy, illness or death are described as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. According to Kübler-Ross, not everybody will experience these stages, and if they do it is also possible that they will not happen in the order given above. I believe the model of the stages are a good tool for understanding and self-reflection, and are one method for trying to deal with the overwhelming fear and uncertainty of any particular situation. There appears to be no “right” stage, and the goal is not to try to move up from one level to the other. Recognizing the patterns in behavior gives one the tools to realize on how to better deal with the fear and frustration. I think I’ll read the book soon.
So, today is one of our “big days.” There will be many more big days that will come forth from this particular situation, as there many big days that will with other life experiences. We will move forward today with some hope that our big day today will give us both the energy and the drive to conquer whatever it is that lies in our path.
Right, my personal trademark quote that is supposed to form the basis of my personal blog … I had originally decided to use a suitable quote that would speak to me personally about our big day, today. I’ve changed that thought now …
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I have no doubt where the light comes from with respect to my wife.
Wish us luck on our big day, today. Talk soon …